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    The Great Gordino Newsletter - Issue 343 - Mon 28th Nov 2005
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    Archive Issues online at - gordonbryan.com/archive

    Hi There,

    I hope everything is ok where you are.

    As I trundle along with my weekly witterings, I often mention
    Tescos, a big supermarket chain.
    Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, in fact the last time I
    mentioned them was the fact that they were selling Christmas
    cakes in September, which had a 'best before' date of mid
    October.
    Hmm, I never did get round to writing to them about that!
    When I was growing up, Tescos had small shops, cramped
    aisles, and I was given the impression that they were shops for
    poor people.
    That was 30 years ago, and since then, the chain has gone from
    strength to strength, offering a large range of value goods,
    riding the wave of big out of town superstores, and ever
    expanding their range of products.
    You may well go in for a loaf of bread and some milk, but you
    can also buy a suit, a television and your car insurance at the
    same time.
    All this has led to an expectation of what you get from the shop,
    and now Tesco takes £12 of every £100 spent in the High Street.
    That's a huge percentage.
    Other shops moan that Tesco is too dominant.
    I've never really agreed, because they got to today's stage with
    years of development, something any other store can do.
    Also, I was in another store last week, and I had a perfect
    example of why Tesco is so far ahead.

    This was the local shop.
    It's a 15 minute walk, and I've taken to going there precisely for
    that reason, that it gets me some good exercise.
    The aisles are cramped, and there is always a queue at the
    checkout, in fact it reminds me of 1970s Tescos.

    By the way, you know when someone starts talking on their
    mobile phone, it's impossible not to listen in, or is that just me?
    I was in said checkout queue, when I could hear one of those
    ridiculous ring tones.
    'Hello Mum', the woman started, and at a hefty old volume too.
    'Yes, it could be tonight, apparently my cervix looks like a ring
    doughnut.'

    I mean, come on - congratulations and all that, but is that
    really what you want to hear as you unload your croissants?

    Like most of the other people in the shop, I developed a fake
    itch on my head, so I could nonchalantly take a glance at her as
    I pretended to scratch it.
    Sure enough, she was bulging at the seams.

    So anyway, I got to the checkout, only to hear that deflating
    sound of a long beep as she put my grapes on the scales.
    Plan B - she tried again - beep.
    Plan C - she hit it, then tried again - beep.
    Plan D - she hit it harder - beep.

    She then rang her bell, which in Tesco would mean assistance
    would come along to help.
    Not in this shop.
    Plan B - ring the bell again.
    Plan C - ring the bell and hit the scales again.

    I'm sure you're with me on this one.
    'Sorry love, the scales aren't working', she helpfully told me.
    Assistance came from the next till, from a woman called Mavis,
    and I'm not sure I've ever met anyone called Mavis *except* at
    checkouts.
    Anyway Mavis informed us that ringing the bell was a waste of
    time, as no-one ever came, 'you'll have to go out back and get
    someone'.

    I was amazed to see my checkout girl get up and wander off
    down the store, leaving me standing like a spare part at the till.
    She came back with an (apparently deaf) manager type, who put
    his manager training to good use by hitting the scales really
    hard this time.
    The scales beeped defiantly, and the manager told me I would
    have to go to another till!
    My shopping was half rung through, so I just told him I would
    leave the grapes.
    I could have pointed out some marketing strategies to him, but
    my main concern was the woman further behind me in the
    queue - what must her cervix be looking like now?

    There is absolutely no way that a checkout operator in Tesco
    would have to leave the till to go and fetch assistance, nor would
    I expect it in Tesco.
    In fact, in Tesco it wouldn't surprise me if they wheeled out a
    birthing pool for the woman with the ring doughnut.
    That's why they are as successful as they currently are, and it's
    easy to draw a comparison to everyday life.
    If someone is doing something that you want to be doing, don't
    moan, don't try and bring them down, study them, learn how
    they do what they do, and then get on and do it yourself!

    Ok, that's it for today, and here's the thought - are your aisles
    too cramped? Do you have the cramps?

    Have a good week.

    'Til Next Time,
    Health and Happiness,
    Gordon
    email me at gordon@gordonbryan.com - you'll have to copy and paste
    thanks to the idiot online spammers!



    
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